In our home, my youngest son Ian is working on changing a long-standing behavior. For years, Ian has had difficulty falling asleep on his own. What started as a fear of the dark and noises has turned into a real anxiety about going to bed at night. For a long time, we, as Ians parents, further enabled the behavior by lying down with him until he fell asleep. Well, now Ians parents are tired of this habit, and we are trying to bring about some change in the bedtime routine.

In our home, my youngest son Ian is working on changing a long-standing behavior. For years, Ian has had difficulty falling asleep on his own. What started as a fear of the dark and noises has turned into a real anxiety about going to bed at night. For a long time, we, as Ians parents, further enabled the behavior by lying down with him until he fell asleep. Well, now Ians parents are tired of this habit, and we are trying to bring about some change in the bedtime routine.

It was my night to handle the bedtime routine with Ian. I know what all the experts recommend on this issue, so we started the routine with a warm bath to help Ian relax. We spent some time together reading to further help Ian wind down. At 8 o'clock, I tucked Ian into bed, and gave him a kiss goodnight.

The new routine we were trying this particular night included keep the light in his room dimmed, while I sat in the middle of my bed reading in my bedroom. From the left hand side of his bed, Ian can see down the hallway into my bedroom. Ian is convinced he needs to see us to fall asleep. You're probably wondering how the new routine worked. It was not working well at all because Ian was resisting the new change with everything he had.

Ian had a million excuses why he couldn't fall asleep. Every time I tried to make a new suggestion, he resisted that idea too. To tell you the truth, he was wearing me down, so I decided to just follow his energy. The next time he said to me "I can't fall asleep", I simply said "Then don't go to sleep. You can stay up all night. Just keep your eyes open and make sure you don't close them." The reverse psychology worked. He resisted that idea too and he went to sleep!

Change is inevitable. It's going to happen whether we like it or not. How we respond to change largely determines how happy and successful we are in life. Although some change may be easier to adjust to, it is still extremely important we are consciously aware of our reactions to change. To create the life you desire to live, maintaining an awareness of how you respond to change can be a great benefit.

Below are five ways to respond to change. What is your relationship with change?

The avoider sees change as painful, and therefore uses denial to protect herself from change. She is oblivious to the change that needs to take place, and will do whatever is necessary to avoid change. The avoider believes deep down if the painful change is ignored, it will eventually go away. It takes a strong external circumstance to shake up the avoider and move her towards change.

The resister may understand that change is needed, but she will fight with change. The resister can come up with a million reasons why ideas wont work. My client recently shared an experience she had with her mother. Her mother is constantly complaining about all the clutter in her home, and not having enough time to deal with it. In an effort to help her mom, my client made several suggestions, including offering her assistance to help her organize and declutter. Every suggestion was met with an excuse, and change did not take place. The resister is gaining more perceived benefit from not making change, and therefore will remain stuck until those benefits are resolved.

The talker is similar to the resister, but normally has a greater desire to make changes. She often talks about the changes she wants to make, but is still struggling to take action. Talking about change is good. It is a positive step in the right direction. Before I finally took action on decluttering my entire house, I would talk about it all the time. I would set goals to encourage me to take action, but wasn't following through. Eventually, I got over the hump of talking about change, and actually created the change I wanted in my life. (You can read all about my decluttering journey on my blog at www.themomcoach.com)

The fizzler recognizes the change that she wants to make. She will talk through the change, and even devise a plan to take action. Filled with fire and energy, she will jump enthusiastically into her journey towards change. Then, like a sparkler, her energy begins to fizzle, and eventually she dies out and ceases action. It is common for the fizzler to start and stop with change. She vacillates between being successful with change, and giving up on change.

The embracer is at ease with change, and often welcomes it because she sees change as an opportunity, rather than a stumbling block. She is a lover of learning, and the embracer wraps her arms around change. She knows that change is not always easy, but that doesn't deter her from embracing change. The embracer has a strong, mental mindset, a positive attitude in regards to change, and the perseverance to stick with the ups and downs of creating change.

What is your relationship with change? How do you handle the change going on in your life, and in the world? How would developing an embracer style help you to create the change you want to see?